The Pitch
In the really
annoying piece of time between Christmas and New Year - someone asked me the
inevitable question about what my resolutions were going to be for the coming
year. At this point I should mention that I have never been a fan of
resolutions before – mainly because I struggle to stick to them. And let’s face
it – any resolution which involves not eating junk food as a resolution will be
broken by the end of New Years day. So my reply to this question was probably
laced with some form of thinly veiled sarcasm or a generic answer like “I’m
going to try and be a better person”. I’d imagine it was also followed by some
form of struggling to smile smiley face. But you get the idea. I couldn’t care
less about New Year resolutions – and those of you that know me will agree. Or
at least that was the case until I started to think seriously about what my
resolutions would be. And my list of potential resolutions was a big list. A
very big list. An almost depressingly big list compared to other peoples. Whereas
some people had 2 or 3 resolutions – I had 10 (In truth I stopped at 10…the
list could easily have gone on and even as I write this now there are some
really obvious things that I’ve left off). Was I being really picky with myself
and my life? Were other people just more realistic with the number of their
resolutions or did they just choose easy things (like “after taking a dump I
will use toilet roll instead of sandpaper”) from their lists?
As you can
probably imagine – I didn’t bother over analyzing my thoughts on the matter
(much) but as you can probably guess by now – I made 10 resolutions (some of
which are more like guidelines). And yes – I am going to tell you all what they
are. But not yet. You see – as I mentioned before – I struggle to stick to
stuff (incidentally – that would have been resolution number 11) – so how (you
might ask) am I going to stick to my resolutions? The simple answer – is you. I
will make myself accountable to you. But not by giving you a list and asking
you to hound me. No. I’m going to write each week about my life (1 part journal
– the type of which starts next week, 1 part story, 1 part question / worldly
observation) - and hopefully within the journal parts (especially), stories and
potentially ranty observations (spoiler alert) you will be able to work out
what my resolutions are. At the end of the year – I’ll reveal the list and
hopefully we can look back and see that I’ve stuck to the 10. If not – at least
if I write for a year I’ll have crossed off number 11. Glass half full
people…half full. I hope you join this journey with me and hopefully you’ll
laugh (and maybe cry) along the way. But before we start – I’ve put together a
few things you might like to know… (Which I’ll probably add to throughout the
year):
- I will not rant about
Arsenal….there are other places for that.
- My faith will be mentioned at
times – so deal with it. What I will say though is that it’s not MY secret
agenda to preach at you. Just know that He loves you. (If you have any
questions about my faith – then please get in touch).
- I certainly don’t mean to offend
– so if I do I’m sorry. I’ll add it to next year’s resolution list.
- This is written just as much for
me as for you – A) I want to remember what I learn from the year. You know
those moments where you realise something really important but then you
forget. Hopefully writing this will mean that I won’t forget and can in
future be a fountain of wisdom (Don’t laugh) B) I want to remember the
mistakes I make so I can try and not repeat them.
- At times these writings will be
brutally honest. I make no apologies about this – I’m just giving you a
spoiler alert.
- Because of last year (and to give
myself a fighting chance) – resolutions started on January 2nd
this year….not the 1st
The Twins
Cast List:
Andy Howson –
Friend, geek & colleague that will happily moan about ANYTHING. Is very
fond of Strongbow and Jaegermeister – but has now started the process of giving
up drinking (for four months) as a New Years resolution (although he has
written some loopholes into the deal). I love having him as part of my life
(although a volume button is occasionally needed). Underneath the mouthy
exterior though lies a father that would do anything for his daughter and a
friend who cares much more about others than he would ever let on.
Naomi
Langmead – Friend & colleague that has an uncanny ability to always make
you smile. Wants to marry / elope with / kidnap Johnny Depp. She’s one of the
most caring people that you could ever meet and within moments of meeting her
you could be telling her your life story. Despite being initially shy it’s
worth noting that at times she is an utter poser. Oh – and don’t let her
anywhere near technology. She will break it.
Naomi and Andy in 2010 (Captions welcome)
Earlier this
year – my little sister Naomi (I appreciate this could get confusing as I’ve
put another Naomi in the cast list – but rest assured the other one doesn’t
appear until later) and my brother in law Sam called me with some exciting
news. She was pregnant. I was going to be an uncle for the first (official)
time. Cass (my wife) was going to be an auntie. Overjoyed – we started
preparing to have an extended family.
A few months
later I had another phone call from Naomi. My mouth opened as I listened. I was
going to be a double uncle (yes – that is a real thing). Naomi was expecting
twins. Excitement didn’t cover my feelings.
A few months
passed by…….
In early
November I received a message from Naomi after she’d had some hospital
appointments. To cut a long story slightly shorter – the scans were not
positive. The 2nd twin was much smaller than the 1st. The
consultant gave Naomi two likely potential scenarios (to help you imagine the
severity of the scenarios – in the 2nd scenario only one twin
survived). We were distraught – (and if we were like that I’ve got no idea how
Sam and Naomi coped) but they asked us to pray for the twins. We prayed and
hoped that the next scans would be more positive.
Slowly – the
scans started to bring more encouraging news. The smaller twin was growing and
although the situation certainly wasn’t resolved - it was a lot better than we
had hoped. The consultant decided that Naomi would have a C section on the 2nd
January – over a month before the twins were due – but a safe date. We started
to prepare.
On the 22nd
December I had a call from my mother. Naomi had started having contractions and
she had been taken into hospital. There was no further information about the twin’s
health or anything. But as the 2nd January was the “safe date” and
this was 11 days beforehand you can imagine the situation. To top the phone
call off - my Gran had also been rushed into hospital. Shell shocked – I put
the phone down and Cass started to ask me 101 questions about what was
happening. Like a typical man though – I had no details about the questions she
was asking. When she asked if I was ok I said that I was. My mind though was
running every single scenario through my head. Not just for Naomi and the twins
- but now for my Gran as well. Each question and each moment was already
bringing more “What ifs” into my mind and I just needed to be able to shut
down…or at least to think. I already had plans that evening to be meeting Naomi
and Andy (this is where the other Naomi comes into play so keep up) for a few
drinks – so rather than cancel I decided to go.
I went
upstairs to get ready and all of a sudden a feeling of anger came over me. Why
was this happening to my family? I felt so helpless. I don’t know what your
opinion of praying is – or how you pray – but I started to rant – at God. And
because I’m useless at opening up – (even to Cass sometimes) – I opened up to
God in an angered volley of “if this happens” and “why!” (On reflection – it
must have looked funny though). As I got out of the shower a different feeling
came over me and I broke down in floods of tears. I emerged a while later. I didn’t tell Cass
what had happened (and in reading this – it will be the first time she has
found out)
In the car on
the way to Naomi’s house – Andy asked me what was wrong - so I told them both
(talk about an evening killing moment). Without planning it though – Andy did
the right thing and simply chose to ignore it as he wanted to have a good night
(either that or he just knew that I didn’t want to talk about it). I finished texting
the vast majority of my phone book asking people to pray for Naomi, Sam, the
twins and my Gran. By the time we arrived at Naomi’s house, I’d received over
50 amazing messages back and one from my mum mixed in amongst them. Naomi
(sister) had gone into labour.
At Naomi’s
house – It’s fair to say that I was a mess (I have to learn that situations
like this + booze do not mix). Naomi was being very careful with what questions
she asked me. She could tell that the face I was wearing was my bad equivalent
of a brave face. Hours passed and I hadn’t heard anything. Naomi got in a strop
because “we’d hidden her camera” – only to apologise 20 mins later because she
had actually put it on charge. Then my phone rang. I answered it and took in as
much information as I could. My eyes started welling up again and I started to
shake.
I was now an
uncle to two beautiful nieces. And despite being small – both were ok. The best
Christmas present ever and their safety and health is something I will forever
be thankful for.
You might ask
why I didn’t mention Naomi and Andy much despite them being cast members – and
you would have a very valid point. But let me tell you what I learnt in those
few hours spent with Andy and Naomi that evening. A good friend knows when you
want to talk and when to let you think. A good friend is with you through good
times and bad - and a good friend knows when you want to have fun and when you
need to have fun – even though you might not know it. The reason Andy and Naomi
aren’t mentioned much is simple. They will never be able to remember what they
did to help me through that night – but they will forever be remembered as part
of my story for the evening. A story that I will certainly never forget.
Despite all
of that though – I shouldn’t have left Cass at home alone that night. Knowing
how hard I found it (even with others around) made me think about how hard it
must have been for her. We are partners in life – at times I forget that. So
that’s another lesson learnt.
Oh – and
another one…..Fireball whiskey mixed with apple juice (whilst very nice), will
leave you constantly on the toilet the next day dumping like a machine gun…….
Just a heads up.
(And
a clown called Blatter)
Some of you
might have heard about a story this week in which an A C Milan football player
walked off the pitch after being racially abused by the fans of another
side. Well - a chap called Sepp Blatter has now got involved (the president of
FIFA) and whilst praising the player’s courage for walking off the pitch - he
has condemned the action of it.
I was asked
for my opinion on this earlier in the week – so here we go:
If Mr Blatter
and his organisation actually had the balls to do something to teams with
racist fans and players rather than fining them the equivalent of a packet of
polo mints then players might actually start to believe that Blatter and his
posse of clowns actually want to kick Racism out of football. Until then –
players should be commended for taking action.
That’s it for
this week - I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! Next week will feature a
massive clue as to one of my resolutions so be prepared. Please feel free to
send me any questions on anything that you want to ask about (I really don’t mind
what you ask) and please share the chapters as we go along with your chums…. –
oh and follow me on the twitter: @andifoster
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