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Friday, 31 May 2013

Chapter 14 - A story about zombies and resolution revelations

So here we are. The football season is over and Wigan have been relegated. Arsenal beat Sp*rs to 4th place and my dislike of Stoke City FC can happily continue as they have now appointed Mark Hughes as "manager" / chief waster of money. In other news – the new Daft Punk album has been released (and is pretty awesome) - and I spent 2 ½ hours frantically searching for my wedding ring earlier in the week only to find it in my pocket. Anyway – here we go…Chapter 14 is here. So let's get started.......

What would you do in the event of a zombie apocalypse?
In the pub the other night with Mel and Kate – the question was raised What i would do in the event of a zombie apocalypse? Would I survive? Or would I falter quickly? Would I be one of the first wave that became a zombie? And do zombies actually have feelings? Do they retain memories like in Warm Bodies? As you can probably imagine – my mind started drifting, My conclusion is that I would probably aim to get somewhere like the Isle of Man pretty quickly. The problem is though is that if the virus is airborne the likelihood would be that we would all have it anyway and…..
Anyway – as you can see – I thought far too much about it. But do not worry…for in a clever link I’d thought about this question before…and may I present to you all now “What to do in the event of a zombie apocalypse”

Odd question – but what are you excited about at the moment?   
I’m really lucky at the moment in the fact that I have a lot to look forward to at the moment.
  1. We go on holiday next month to Cornwall and that means hanging out Wifey for a week and then towards the end of the week we get to hang out with the Fal Collective. I’ll also get to see Lands End for the first time (am I building that up too much?).
  2. The album being launched into the big wide world – but as i said – there will be more on that next week.
  3. I started getting my band and everyone ready for Rivercamp this week and the banter has already started. I’m really looking forward to us all being together again!
  4. Something that has really got me excited though is that my musical writers block has gone. I can’t describe at what moment it changed....but suddenly I’m having a constant stream of ideas flowing again. Its a relief – and I’m finding that some of the ideas that are flowing are very strongly indeed – I can’t wait to see what happens with them! What I can say though – is that there is a very odd version of a new song called “not alone” I was working on with Mel with me basically going Da Da Daaaaaa for the whole verse as i have the melody – but not the lyrics.
  5. Have I mentioned that Josh Mckee and I are now the proud owners of By His Stripes Records?
  6. Probably loads of other stuff that will hit me as soon as I’ve published this chapter!

Ok – It’s been 5 months and it’s time for a reveal. Tell us a couple of your resolutions....

Ok ok. I’ve been really resolution light over the last few chapters – perhaps because I’m ashamed to say that I’ve drifted away from a couple (although I’m beginning to get back on track). But as I said all the way back at the start – my 10 resolutions were guidelines anyway (enough with the excuses Andi....I know that’s what you’re thinking). But ok – two resolutions:

  1.  Prioritise music at home over tv, games and movies etc.
This was the first resolution that was worked out (I think credit goes to Adam Legge who got it) – and it was something that I had touched heavily upon before chapter 9. It is also one of the things that I am currently coming back to. I drifted away from it for a number of reasons I think – but it is no surprise (on reflection) that my musical writers block was combined with a time of not practising my craft. In fact – it just makes me look stupid that it hadn’t dawned on me before......But in honesty – I’ve probably needed the distraction. That’s changing now though. There are songs and da da daaaa’s brewing again....and I need to spend time investing in them. Don’t get me wrong though – sometimes it is helpful to have distractions!

  1. Lose 2 stone
Now this unsurprisingly is probably the resolution that I am failing at most. I’m no fool – and I completely realise that years of eating food that isn’t good for me (why does bad food always taste good?) and drinking an awful lot of beer hasn’t done me any favours- and I’ve already taken a few steps to counteract that trend (and lost just under ½ stone since New Year). I have no desire to turn into a fitness freak or calorie counting to the point of needing a calculator – but I’m fully aware that I need to lose some weight. I’ve touched on this across the journey so far – but I haven’t really gone too much into it because as confident as I am (or at least as confident as I might come across) I find speaking about it really hard. Which is why I’ve decided to walk the plank and rather just hint about it – I thought I’d mention it so you all know. Now what this means is that I don’t want disapproving looks when I’m eating something junky and I don’t really want to talk about it. But what I really need help with is finding some ways of getting more exercise. I hate doing stuff alone – so this is going to involve some others. I don’t mind going to the gym – but again – I don’t want to do it on my own (because I’ll be there for about 5 minutes and leave). So please – I’m open to options, suggestions or offers for me to come along and do stuff.
If anyone has an exercise bike that I can borrow – I really wouldn’t mind that (because then I can multitask by riding and watching something – or listening to something) or If anyone has a bike that I can use – that would be amazing. Announcing this resolution has also come partly because of Matt Mortlock who has been completely inspiring in his weight loss (although he has gone a bit more hardcore about it than I’ll be going......). Matt is also going to be raising money for a charity doing an 88 mile canoe ride. I’ve sponsored him. Will you as well?

The Cast List
Interestingly, I don’t really have much to say about what I’ve been up to – because I’ve actually had a really relaxed couple of weeks (whereas the next few weeks will be hectic). But in the midst of everything – I’ve had a great time with my parents and Mel coming to stay. The album has taken another step closer to completion and I spent a great evening in the pub with Kate, Mel, Hannah and Adam talking about all forms of completely random stuff (as you saw earlier). I’ve also discovered a new amazing game! So what I’m saying is that I don’t have a breakdown of everything that I’ve been up to – as you’ve just read it…..but I do have  a cast list….

Mel Allen (Mel Bear)
Mel is one the strongest people I’ve ever met. I know very few people who have gone through as much as she has anyway – but to come through everything as strong as she has and by demonstrating such faith at every turn is completely inspiring. Mel is quite a shy character – at least initially. But once she has spent some time with you another side to her will emerge. A side that loves to laugh, a side that is thoughtful beyond her years and a side that could quite happily banter away with the best of them. Mel is ace – and to top it all off she also has an amazing voice…….(she WILL be on my album…more on that to follow in the next chapter)

My Parents
I’d imagine that 99% of people would say that their parents are amazing.  And I am lucky to say that I am one of the 99%. I was certainly not the easiest child to manage whilst growing up (understatement) – and the rumours that you hear about Vicar’s sons are true (I’m proud to say that BOTH of my parental units now have REV in front of their name). In complete honesty though – I don’t think I appreciated them enough until I moved away from home – and it was at that point I think I realised just how much they had done for me and  exactly how much along the way that they had given up for me. It’s also not lost on me how much my Mum and Dad try and understand me and different things in my life (like comics). Even after so long they still want to try and understand even more about their son and will go (sometimes literally) miles out of their way to help that happen. I think the best way to describe it is that I’m humbled by them. Having them around and in my life is an honour – and I realise and appreciate that more with each day.

My Dad Dave is an avid Wigan fan and we spent a week last year travelling around the Baltics (if you ever get the chance – head to Lithuania for a weekend). He plays more instruments than me (and I can play a lot) and he can speak more languages than are used on the entirety of Barton Street (the road of many nations near my house). To my complete joy and utter amusement my Dad has also been recently getting into video games. It’s fantastic! Above all else though – I know that he is there for me – and he will always be looking out for me, constantly caring. The difference now is that we can have a beer together whilst sorting through my problems!

My mum is the most caring person I have ever come across. Selfless and compassionate – I sometimes worry that she worries and cares about others too much – and not enough about herself. As you can probably tell – I’m hugely protective of both my mum (and my sister) and they know that as well (hurt them at your peril). My mum is a fighter although not in the literal sense – and she will fight for justice when others will give up. She sounds like a superhero – and to me she is.  She also has an amazing sense of humour and will happily tease me if given the chance (I love it). She also is the baker of goods that are so nice that I am convinced they are laced with some form of drug (they are so addictive!) – but Mum if you are reading this....this is not an excuse to stop making them.....

There are loads of stories I could tell about my parents (I’m sure I’ll tell you some along the way) – but this is the one I’ve decided on for today.....
Last year – around the time that is mentioned in Chapter 1, my Mum, Dad and I went on a short car journey to see my Gran in hospital (after coming away from seeing my sister). It turned out to be one of the most revealing trips I had ever taken – and learnt more from my parents about me and my relationship with them than I had ever learnt before. It was one of my highlights of the last few years without any question.
And that is actually where I’m going to leave 10 resolutions this week. Please remember to subscribe using the white box above and to ask any questions on Twitter, email, or the Facebook page. I’ll be back next week with news of a really exciting project (something that you can help with). Right – I’m off to watch Fast and Furious 6 and to pretend that Paul Walker has learnt to act. Just before I go though – a massive congratulations to Andy Hunter and Sophie Woodbridge who are getting married at the weekend........Sophie is one of the first members of my youth group in Cheltenham - and somehow despite all of my best efforts she turned out ok. I'm amazingly proud. 

God Bless


Friday, 17 May 2013

Chapter 13 - A story about Wigan Athletic and a band called Shockabuku

So here we are again! In this chapter I’m going to try and fill in the last couple of weeks and hopefully write my first “normal” entry since before chapter 9. I’m even going to fill in the gap of what I was doing the weekend before that chapter. I also promise that as I said in my Bieber interlude / rant last week – there will be no further mentions of Bieber. So without further ado – let’s get started…..

The Cast List
Toby and Vicky Cowe
The first couple to leave me responsible for their wedding reception entertainment – I’ve known Toby and Vicky now for a number of years. Toby spent a lot of time growing up in the same place as me – but I never came across him (I don’t think) at that stage in my life. No - I met Toby on one of my first visits to Cheltenham at a gig for his brother’s band Shockabuku (more of them to follow at some point I’m sure).  Many years (and a worrying number of games of drinking Scrabble later) Toby is one of my closest and faithful friends. He is also a genius that is paid to invent stuff for a living. I still remember the first time that Toby told about this amazing girl that he had met – Vicky. As he spoke about her – even in those first moments – you could tell that in a way she had captured him. And I’m so pleased that she did – because Vicky is so much fun to be around. She’s blunt, funny, an amazing mum, compassionate and a great friend to both Cass and I.

Matt Chandler
Matt is another ex member of Shockabuku as well as being an ex housemate to both me and Toby (at different points). Matt now lives in the “hippy” part of Bristol and is engaged to Josie.
No matter what is going on in my life – it’s always great to know that I can always call or go and see Matt. He is a music snob (and he wont mind me saying that) but I give him a bit of grace with that as he is a really talented musician (and in a very clever link you can check out his stuff here).
I’ve known Matt now for about 10 years and in that time I think he has made me laugh (whether meaning to or not) more than anyone else. He’s a great friend and I’m really lucky to have him as part of my life.

Joe Newlan

I’ve known Joe for about 5 years (since he started working in my office at the age of 16) and it’s fair to say that I am immensely proud of the man that he has become. However, whilst Joe is a wise head on young shoulders – he also has a habit of being a cheeky little scamp and when mischief happens – Joe will be in very close vicinity. Above all that though Joe is great to have around and he has a heart of gold (he also looks suspiciously like Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory). He’s kind and selfless and cares so much about others that you wonder how someone so young has grown up to have such a big heart.

Jo and James Montague
Jo and James are also both now part of the “Andi has known me for more than 10 years” club (they have also had the added "benefit"  of having had me as a youth leader). Jo plans weddings for a living and James works on a “helpdesk” (apparently IT helpdesks are not like the IT crowd? – or at least so James says…..). James is a man of great integrity and Jo has such kindness in her heart that it is completely inspiring. She also has an infectious laugh – as well as a beautiful voice. 

At my sisters wedding a number of years ago, Wifey and I were on the same table as Jo and James. After a few alcoholic beverages over the course of the meal I bet James £5 that he couldn’t eat 4 portions of Crème Brulee. I lost the bet that evening but losing £5 was worth it because of the reaction that James had to such an obscene amount of sugar. His pupils became tiny and his face went white – but he kept going because he was committed and determined. I have never seen anyone look so ill in my entire life – but then with his winnings he bought me a beer! What a Gent!

The weekend before Chapter 9……
The Saturday before chapter 9 I jumped on a train with Toby and headed down to see Matt Chandler in very soggy Brizzle. After getting off the train at the right place – we then asked someone which platform our next train was going to be on. We went to that platform and got on the first train that came along (which time-wise was correct with what we already knew about the train times).
What we didn’t know however was at that moment local Bristol trains were delayed - and we ended up jumping on a train back to the station that we had previously passed. (Sidenote…Dear National Rail – would it really be so much hassle for you to install screens at stations telling people where trains are going or if trains are delayed?) We got off the train and decided to walk as Toby was convinced that a taxi would drive past and we could flag it down (I just wanted to call a taxi….)
Needless to say that an uncomfortable hour’s walk later (uncomfortable because A] I was wearing a Bristol City scarf and walking through Bristol Rovers territory at stadium kicking out time and B] I had eaten chilli beans on toast and the after effects were beginning to take hold) we arrived at Matt’s house (actually in good spirits despite the sogginess). In answer to your inevitable question…yes taxi’s had passed us on our epic journey however Toby wasn’t quite as good at flagging them down as he thought…….

That evening Matt, Toby and I ventured into the hippyland that is near Matt’s house for a curry and a few beers. We then went round to a couple’s house to play some poker. At this point I should point out that I am an immensely frustrating poker player. Toby does not like playing with me because after playing for a while – I’ll just start making silly bets. Do I have a poker face? Probably not – but because the bets I make are so stupid - people back off for a while….or at least they do for a while before they start calling my bluff (at which point I obviously start losing). That evening was no different. In something that should be no great surprise to anyone…..I lost.

It was a really surprising night because it wasn’t at all what I expected. I remember thinking back to all of the crazy nights that the 3 of us had together and some part of me was expecting something along those lines (although I don’t know how any of us would have coped with one of those hangovers with our increased age). But the night that we had together was perfect – and it actually ended up giving us a much better chance to catch up than sitting in a loud pub not being able to hear each other (Please note that for the record I’m not at the age yet where there is anything wrong with a loud pub – but for this night it wouldn’t have been right….). It was one of those random nights that just turned out to be great. It also proved to me the theory that doing stuff is so much better with friends around. I had such a great time!
When the events of Chapter 9 started two days later – I spoke to Matt and Toby very early on because they were still very much in my mind from the weekend. I knew that they were thinking about Wifey and me and that they would be there for us throughout what we were going through (along with so many others). I’ve said it before – but one of the signs of a good friend is that they have your back when times are hard – they aren’t just there when it’s an easy ride. Toby and Matt are great friends. And it was great (and very timely) to have a reminder of that just before I needed them.

Friday 3rd May – Tuesday 7th May
We’d been looking forward to bank holiday weekend for a while as it was a great chance to catch up with some friends and family. Friday saw us having a takeaway with the Chatfields and the Cowes and guiding a takeaway driver to the Cowes new house (no mean feat when you realise that the Cowes have moved into a beautiful yet un-satnavable new pad).
On the Saturday (aside from all of the May the fourth be with you Facebook messages) we journeyed down to High Wycombe to spend the weekend with my sister, her husband and the twins. We even took the twins out for their first trip shopping! On the Sunday morning, I was invited back to the Church where I’d been a few weeks ago – Micklefield Elim – and once again I received such a lovely welcome and had a great time. On the Sunday afternoon I popped next door to the pub to watch the Arsenal game whilst the girls watched some form of girly entertainment. We scored in the first minute. And after that the colour I would use to describe the game would be beige….
The next day we went over to Aylesbury to hang out with my cousin, his wife and their littlebots. We had a picnic – which was fantastic even though I realised on the way over that I actually don’t like picnics. In truth – I don’t even like eating outside – so why I suggested having a picnic is a bit confusing…but anyway…It was really nice - especially after spending time with them before so recently. On the Tuesday night, Joe and Howson came round for a BBQ on THE night of British summer. I made fire. I burnt stuff and grew mesmerised as per usual by the growing flames…. We played cards and I had my first cider day of the year (normally happens around the first day that it is acceptable to be in a beer garden….). All in all – it was a great end to a long and fantastic weekend. Oh and to the driver who went into the back of us on the Headington roundabout and then drove off without even saying sorry or checking that we were ok (we are fine and very grateful that is the case)….I forgive you and Jesus loves you. But you are an asshat. That is all.

The Next Weekend….
The next weekend (or last weekend for those on date watch) was a weekend spent in the shire. I went to the Holy House on Friday night for a karaoke party (yes – us Smileys can also have fun) and then had a great day the next day with Wifey just chilling out together and celebrating Wigan’s FA Cup win over (soon to be doomed through financial fair play) Man Citeh. I spent the majority of Sunday at church with a break for lunch with Wifey (and with Jo and James as they had come up to play Seek His Face with me in the evening). Yet again I was amazed at people coming together from different churches. I know that I shouldn’t be surprised – but there seems to be more politics between churches in our area than in the actual government – so I’m happy to see that in our generation those walls are beginning to be broken down. It was another amazing weekend.

Tuesday 14th May
Arsenal won (good news), but it condemned Wigan to relegation meaning that Wigan fans (like my dad) had experienced the complete roller coaster ride of emotions in the last week. Don’t get me wrong – it was great that Arsenal won. But it was quite bittersweet as I wish it had condemned someone else (like Stoke) to relegation instead. Let’s face it. There is the beautiful game and at the other end of the spectrum there is Stoke. I can think of no better advert for the Premier League than sending the team who play the worst and least attractive form of football through the Premier League trapdoor. Maybe it would be better if every football fan could just vote Stoke out of the league instead…..

And that my friends…pretty much brings you up to date with what I’ve been up to. I’ve got something else to mention next week that I’ve missed out along the way but bar that I think we are there. I’ve caught up. Admittedly it has been at the expense of telling you about my resolutions – but I figure that I’m actually going to tell you about two of them next week (and that means that I’m ACTUALLY going to tell what two of them are……) What I do want to leave you with though is this. Imagine if we decided on our Prime Minister like this……

10 Resolutions will return next week with a selection of your questions and a run down and my thoughts on what I’ve been watching at the big screen. I’ll also be taking recommendations for what to do with my time after the football season has finished….If you’ve got a question that you’d like to ask – please ask away on the Facebook page, or over email. It can be about anything that you could ever imagine so please feel free to be random if you want. Finally – can I just say thank you all so much for your support for 10 Resolutions and please keep on sharing it around and getting others involved. I’d also like to do a guest spot in a few weeks about other people’s new years resolutions…so if you’d like to get involved…please give me a shout! Right – I’m off to watch some 8 out of 10 cats with Howson and to dispose of the beans on toast I consumed earlier. Until next time.

God Bless


Friday, 10 May 2013

A Bieber Free Zone

There was outrage in March when Justin Bieber started his performance two hours late at the 02 in London. Scenes of children crying and angry parents threatening to kidnap Bieber and strand him in Slough dominated the news the next day (Unfortunately media outlets decided that this was a much better story to lead with than something like famine…….).
In response to all of the negative press Bieber decided to apologise stating that his performance was delayed due to “technical issues” (something which would be understandable if the 02 hadn’t already said in response to complaints the night before that “Justin will come out when he is ready”).
Bieber’s next few nights at the 02 happened without a hitch but a quick glance across the news pages suggests that the rest of his world tour has been similarly uneventful……(stories involving Anne Frank, topless airport trips, monkeys, drugs, paparazzi and stun guns are mentioned repeatedly).

2 months later – and this week Bieber has again found himself at the end of fan hatred after starting a performance in Dubai (where the cheapest ticket was £100) over 2 hours late. The following night perhaps in a response to this (or in response simply to the fact that it was Justin Bieber) he was attacked on stage by some form of incredible hulk who managed to overturn a grand piano in his desperation to become the bestest Belieber of them all. The media exploded into a flurry of activity and quickly pictures of his Biebership were all over the news – AGAIN.

Now it shouldn’t take genius to work out that I am not Biebers biggest fan. And actually when I say that – what I really mean is that I am not a fan at all. I have no understanding of how people managed to watch that “Baby” video so many times that it broke some form of the internet. I have no idea who actually likes Justin Bieber. Apparently the younger folk like him – but none of the younger folk that I have spoken to can stick his music – and especially not that “Baby” song.
So – I’m very confused. What I will say though – is that there is clearly something not entirely ship shape going on with him at the moment. Maybe it’s the pressures of fame or the stuff that comes along with it? Maybe it’s the pressures of trying to write a follow up to a song which constantly repeats the same 4 words in a chorus or trying to face off in a music market with a chap called Psy. So if there is something wrong with him – I do hope that he realises and recovers. I don’t want any harm to come to him – whether through illness or that he has brought upon himself (if he happens to recover without the ability to record any more music EVER though – that would be a bonus and could possibly help in some way refocus the world on things we should be worrying about). If however he is just being a brat and not appearing on stage because he can’t be arsed – and acting like a diva because he thinks he is better than everyone else – then any form of sympathy I have for him has gone.
Despite everything else – it shows a massive disrespect for the fans (and don’t get me started on punctuality.............)

HOWEVER – Parents, much as I sympathise with the ordeal that you must have gone through – waiting for him to turn up and then being delayed (I’d imagine it would end up like just wanting to rip a plaster off) and them him not turning up till much later meaning that your sproglets were going to be tired for school the next day or that you were all going to miss the last train home.....As much as I do sympathise with that (and as much as I understand that you want to treat your children to stuff)  – I feel that that I need to ask what you were expecting given his reputation? I’m also intrigued to know how you think he sets a good example to your little bots? (but I guess that’s a question for another day....) I’m also thinking that perhaps this is good opportunity for you to jump on their Bieber disappointment and to introduce them to some good music along the way......

Parents however – please don’t feel bad – because there is a group of people that I haven’t addressed in this rant. And they are the 15 – ** year olds that went to see Biebersaurus because of his “excellent” music or because “he’s so pretty”. They went to see him out of choice. If you are a member of this group then you need to take a long hard look at what you are doing to this world. Just think – if you stopped buying his music and his merch and his concert tickets – then you would be saving him from the pressures of fame. Wouldn’t you like to be the one that saved the Bieberface? If you are in this group and you did miss your train after the concert – I hope you used the time to reflect on your behaviour.

Anyway...I shall leave you with this from the Last Leg....just about sums up everything really..... - oh and Terry has told me to say hi to you all...


10 Resolutions will return with a full chapter next week so please send your questions in about life, the universe (but not his Bieberness) and everything in between in via the facebook page, via twitter, by emailing or through prophetic dance. Right – I’m off to prep for some karaoke....and I’m willing to bet that on reading this someone rather unfunny is going to request THAT song. I’ll let you know my reaction next week.

God Bless.

Wednesday, 1 May 2013

Chapter 12 - A story about earplugs and the Kardashian family

My neighbours are doing work on their house (again). The people across the road are having work done on their loft. The “annnyyyy ollllddddd irrrrooonnnnn” people still haven’t learnt that perhaps driving up and down the same street every day is not the best use of their time (it’s also really annoying) and for some bizarre reason - ice cream vans come down our road no matter what the weather may be doing (and before any of you mention them selling drugs – the ice cream van is from the family run chain up the road and I’d be very surprised if they had anything to do with selling illegal narcotics to the wide range of OAP’s residing on our street). Oh – and our other next door neighbour has had her son and daughter in law to stay this week which I’m sure has been lovely for her – unfortunately the daughter in law is inhumanly loud (I’ll let you linger on what I could mean by that).
What I’m trying to get at – is that at the moment our road is very noisy. Which is why after finishing a night shift this week (and in a desperate attempt to ensure that I slept well) I resorted to putting in ear plugs when I got in from work.
I had an amazing morning’s worth of sleep and awoke feeling refreshed and rested (very rare for sleep after a nightshift). But as I started to stretch and wake up I realised that I couldn’t hear properly. My hearing was muffled and I started to panic. Now – a normal person would touch their ears – or remember that they had ear plugs in. But no – I am not one of those people. I instantly started looking on the internet at causes for hearing becoming muffled after sleep. I started looking at hearing loss and imagining the rest of my life with damaged hearing. A few minutes after this information had started to sink in I went to have a shower and stuff – in the hope that something would miraculously fix my damaged ears. I looked in the mirror and sticking out of an ear I saw something orange. At that point I remembered. I took out my earplugs and started to chuckle with relief and complete disbelief that my after waking dopiness had reached this brand new level. The next moment had me wishing that I’d kept my earplugs in though……”Annnyyyyyyy olllldddddd irrrrronnnnnn”…………Grrrrrr.

So here we are – and welcome to chapter 12 of 10 resolutions. In this chapter – I’m just going to be answering some of your questions. But I’ll start by coming back to the second half of the question from chapter 10…

Apart from the obvious distinction that family are related through blood and marriage – when and how do friends become family? And how and when do family become friends?

This question has taken me ages to actually develop an answer for – and even then I don’t have a definitive sentence long answer. But I’ve written some statements – that kind of summarise my feelings on it. My guess is that if you can align 3 out of 4 statements to one person then you will probably already consider that person to be more like family than anything else.

Anyway - friends become family when you have been together for so long that you can’t really remember a time without them. Friends become family when you have as many memories of being with them / spending time with them as you do with your actual family. Friends become family when in the aftermath of an argument you cannot walk away from the other person – when you know that there cannot be years of silence between you – when your tie is too strong to be broken. Friends become family when you know that if your friend is in a time of pain you would be willing to take their place. So there you have it (albeit in a soppier and perhaps slightly more depressing way than initially imagined).

Why shouldn’t two people (that want to be together more than anything), not be together because one person doesn’t like it?
At this point I have to make a confession. When starting 10 Resolutions – I had no idea that through asking for questions I would end up as an agony aunt. On reflection – It’s a piece of strangely predictable evolution and actually quite cool! So anyway – here we go….
This question has three vastly different possible answers depending on who the one person that doesn’t like it is. If for example that person is a husband or wife / equivalent - then the answer is take a good long look at what you are doing. The answer to your “why” should be fairly obvious.

On the other hand – if the person getting in the way is a friend of either of yours – then you need to be asking why they are getting in the way. Have you thought that quite often friends can see things in situations that you can’t see? You need to make sure that the reason why isn’t actually staring you in the face.  Have you been sucked into becoming a person convinced that TOWIE actually represents real life? Or that Cricket is actually an entertaining sport? Friends could well be standing in the way to stop you making a huge mistake. They might have seen the effect that this person has started to have on you and want to protect you from harm. Friends shouldn’t want to do anything to hurt you – if they are standing in your way – the chances are that there is a good reason.
With all that said – if the person getting in the way is not a friend or a spouse or someone with an obvious reason to be hurt by your shenanigans – I would suggest that there is no reason for you not to be together and there should be a way that you can work it out. I would however advise caution on the person in the way though…..many horror and thriller films have been made with this scenario……
How are the Kardashians famous?
Very simply – Daddy Kardashian defended OJ Simpson putting him (and the family into the media spotlight). Daddy and Mummy Kardashian then got divorced. Mummy Kardashian got remarried to ex Olympic Champion. Kardashian sprogs become fashion stylists and start own range of stores whilst getting involved in some celebrity “relationships” / publicity stunts along the way. Sproglet Kim films naughty video with boyfriend who then sells video. Sproglet Kim gets grumpy about this and sues naughty company who then pay her $5m as a thank you. Reality garbage Kardashian show is quickly commissioned and starts a few months later (anyone sense conspiracy) and the circus still continues to grow….In summary though - the Kardashians are famous for being famous. Reality TV fans take a pat on the back - it's your fault. 

Hi Andi. Do you have any advice to give?
HA! I’ve got loads – but very little that could be useful at the moment. Here is this nugget of wonderfullness though - Before going to church - check that your flies are done up to avoid any embarrassing moments (like Sunday for me). 

Anyway - this is actually going to be the shortest chapter yet as I've had a migraine for two days now - and it's showing no sign of letting up (It feels like I have an amplified marching band marching constantly in my head). I need to go and see the doctor (not the ice-cream man) who can hopefully provide me with some drugs (to fix the pain). So 10 Resolutions will return as normal (with a cast list and everything) next week - but until then - please feel free to ask any questions by emailing or by visiting the facebook page 
God Bless