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Wednesday, 1 May 2013

Chapter 12 - A story about earplugs and the Kardashian family

My neighbours are doing work on their house (again). The people across the road are having work done on their loft. The “annnyyyy ollllddddd irrrrooonnnnn” people still haven’t learnt that perhaps driving up and down the same street every day is not the best use of their time (it’s also really annoying) and for some bizarre reason - ice cream vans come down our road no matter what the weather may be doing (and before any of you mention them selling drugs – the ice cream van is from the family run chain up the road and I’d be very surprised if they had anything to do with selling illegal narcotics to the wide range of OAP’s residing on our street). Oh – and our other next door neighbour has had her son and daughter in law to stay this week which I’m sure has been lovely for her – unfortunately the daughter in law is inhumanly loud (I’ll let you linger on what I could mean by that).
What I’m trying to get at – is that at the moment our road is very noisy. Which is why after finishing a night shift this week (and in a desperate attempt to ensure that I slept well) I resorted to putting in ear plugs when I got in from work.
I had an amazing morning’s worth of sleep and awoke feeling refreshed and rested (very rare for sleep after a nightshift). But as I started to stretch and wake up I realised that I couldn’t hear properly. My hearing was muffled and I started to panic. Now – a normal person would touch their ears – or remember that they had ear plugs in. But no – I am not one of those people. I instantly started looking on the internet at causes for hearing becoming muffled after sleep. I started looking at hearing loss and imagining the rest of my life with damaged hearing. A few minutes after this information had started to sink in I went to have a shower and stuff – in the hope that something would miraculously fix my damaged ears. I looked in the mirror and sticking out of an ear I saw something orange. At that point I remembered. I took out my earplugs and started to chuckle with relief and complete disbelief that my after waking dopiness had reached this brand new level. The next moment had me wishing that I’d kept my earplugs in though……”Annnyyyyyyy olllldddddd irrrrronnnnnn”…………Grrrrrr.

So here we are – and welcome to chapter 12 of 10 resolutions. In this chapter – I’m just going to be answering some of your questions. But I’ll start by coming back to the second half of the question from chapter 10…

Apart from the obvious distinction that family are related through blood and marriage – when and how do friends become family? And how and when do family become friends?

This question has taken me ages to actually develop an answer for – and even then I don’t have a definitive sentence long answer. But I’ve written some statements – that kind of summarise my feelings on it. My guess is that if you can align 3 out of 4 statements to one person then you will probably already consider that person to be more like family than anything else.

Anyway - friends become family when you have been together for so long that you can’t really remember a time without them. Friends become family when you have as many memories of being with them / spending time with them as you do with your actual family. Friends become family when in the aftermath of an argument you cannot walk away from the other person – when you know that there cannot be years of silence between you – when your tie is too strong to be broken. Friends become family when you know that if your friend is in a time of pain you would be willing to take their place. So there you have it (albeit in a soppier and perhaps slightly more depressing way than initially imagined).

Why shouldn’t two people (that want to be together more than anything), not be together because one person doesn’t like it?
At this point I have to make a confession. When starting 10 Resolutions – I had no idea that through asking for questions I would end up as an agony aunt. On reflection – It’s a piece of strangely predictable evolution and actually quite cool! So anyway – here we go….
This question has three vastly different possible answers depending on who the one person that doesn’t like it is. If for example that person is a husband or wife / equivalent - then the answer is take a good long look at what you are doing. The answer to your “why” should be fairly obvious.

On the other hand – if the person getting in the way is a friend of either of yours – then you need to be asking why they are getting in the way. Have you thought that quite often friends can see things in situations that you can’t see? You need to make sure that the reason why isn’t actually staring you in the face.  Have you been sucked into becoming a person convinced that TOWIE actually represents real life? Or that Cricket is actually an entertaining sport? Friends could well be standing in the way to stop you making a huge mistake. They might have seen the effect that this person has started to have on you and want to protect you from harm. Friends shouldn’t want to do anything to hurt you – if they are standing in your way – the chances are that there is a good reason.
With all that said – if the person getting in the way is not a friend or a spouse or someone with an obvious reason to be hurt by your shenanigans – I would suggest that there is no reason for you not to be together and there should be a way that you can work it out. I would however advise caution on the person in the way though…..many horror and thriller films have been made with this scenario……
How are the Kardashians famous?
Very simply – Daddy Kardashian defended OJ Simpson putting him (and the family into the media spotlight). Daddy and Mummy Kardashian then got divorced. Mummy Kardashian got remarried to ex Olympic Champion. Kardashian sprogs become fashion stylists and start own range of stores whilst getting involved in some celebrity “relationships” / publicity stunts along the way. Sproglet Kim films naughty video with boyfriend who then sells video. Sproglet Kim gets grumpy about this and sues naughty company who then pay her $5m as a thank you. Reality garbage Kardashian show is quickly commissioned and starts a few months later (anyone sense conspiracy) and the circus still continues to grow….In summary though - the Kardashians are famous for being famous. Reality TV fans take a pat on the back - it's your fault. 

Hi Andi. Do you have any advice to give?
HA! I’ve got loads – but very little that could be useful at the moment. Here is this nugget of wonderfullness though - Before going to church - check that your flies are done up to avoid any embarrassing moments (like Sunday for me). 

Anyway - this is actually going to be the shortest chapter yet as I've had a migraine for two days now - and it's showing no sign of letting up (It feels like I have an amplified marching band marching constantly in my head). I need to go and see the doctor (not the ice-cream man) who can hopefully provide me with some drugs (to fix the pain). So 10 Resolutions will return as normal (with a cast list and everything) next week - but until then - please feel free to ask any questions by emailing or by visiting the facebook page 
God Bless

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